Felix ego

The most recent post (before this one) to appear on Infelix Ego was published on March 4th, which is almost a month ago. Accordingly, Melancholicus feels he owes his readers some explanation of his absence, and an apology for having tried their patience with such prolonged inactivity.

In his first post of 2008, Melancholicus expressed himself uncharacteristically optimistic about what changes to his life the new year would bring. It seems this optimism — unlike that of the ’sixties and Vatican II — was not altogether unfounded. For a strange sensation has crept over Melancholicus in the last few months, so slowly at first that he failed to notice it, but growing in strength and intensity such that by now he cannot help but be aware of it.

This odd sensation feels almost like ... like ... yes, I remember now ... like happiness.

Happiness!

Happiness and Melancholicus go together like chalk and cheese, like oil and water, like salvation and perdition, like Islam and peace. Can it really be that Melancholicus is happy? The very idea seems somehow immoral.

Melancholicus even thought of starting a new blog, with the title Felix Ego to reflect his much changed circumstances, but that would not have been fair to his readers, and much less to those fellow bloggers who have so generously linked to him over the past three months. And happiness is a fleeting emotion anyhow, a fickle thing, ephemeral as the morning mist and which vanishes again just as quickly. So this journal shall remain and, workload permitting, continue to be updated on a regular basis. Nor shall its author change his name, for regardless how gay (in the pre-modern sense of the word) and elated he may at present be, his temperament is still two parts melancholic and one part phlegmatic, so he shall always be Melancholicus.

As for the reason for this unwonted happiness... well, we shall now come to that.

Much of this month Melancholicus has spent in the United States. This is the first time he has been back to the US since his departure from the seminary in 2005. But on this occasion he went not to Nebraska, but to Tacoma, Washington.

The purpose of this journey to the ends of the earth — for one can hardly travel further west than Washington, except perhaps to Alaska — was to visit a friend. Specifically, a lady friend. Melancholicus shall not embarrass her by mentioning her name, but her temperament is three parts melancholic and one part choleric, so we are perfectly matched.

Melancholicus may on occasion be overly prolix, but he is not a gushy person (at least not on Infelix Ego), so he will refrain from informing his readers how he regards his lady friend as his sun, moon and starlit sky, and all that sort of thing. Suffice it to say that she loves him, and he her.

There is as yet no betrothal; nevertheless, Melancholicus feels that it is not jumping the gun to say he believes we shall one day be husband and wife, perhaps even next year or the year after. Time will tell.

To those who have followed the details of Melancholicus’ personal life as they have from time to time been revealed on this blog and who fear he may be making a terrible mistake, he wishes to give the reassurance that his beloved is not the same person as a certain L. of whom mention was made in a few posts of November and December last. That is now ancient history, and that chapter of Melancholicus’ life has been definitively closed, never to be re-opened. The answer of St. Francis Xavier, whom Melancholicus implored for guidance, was unmistakably clear.

But Melancholicus has in these developments been so blessed by almighty God that he is replete with heartfelt gratitude, and he will end this post by saying, with the psalmist (117:22):

a Domino factum est istud, et est mirabile in oculis nostris — ‘this has been done by the LORD, and it is marvellous in our eyes’.