O Little Town of Birmingham

Speaking of ‘Merry Winterval’, Melancholicus is reminded of a parody Christmas carol, sung to the tune of O Little Town of Bethlehem, satirising the decision of Birmingham City Council some years back to rename Christmas as Winterval in order not to “offend” or “exclude” persons of different faiths or of no faith at all.

Sensible folk, however, were not amused by this risible piece of politically-correct lunacy.

Some wag came up with the following version of O Little Town of Bethlehem shortly after ‘winterval’ made its first appearance, and Melancholicus at once committed it to memory.

O Little Town of Birmingham,
How bright we see thee shine;
A friend in need for every creed
Except of course for mine.
For in thy decorations,
No star or crib appears;
Nothing to tell of what befell
These past two thousand years.

How Christlessly, how Christlessly,
Thy fair streets are bedecked;
For minarets and TV sets
Politically correct.
Yet in thy stores ho-hoeth
An hundred santa claus;
Without this quaint pecuniary saint
They’d have to close their doors.

O gentle mayor of Birmingham,
Remember such as us;
Not just the sheikhs and New Age freaks
And Labour councillors.
We hear the great glad tidings
From Dartmouth to Dunkeld;
O Come to us, abide with us,
Our Saviour—name withheld.

It would be screamingly funny if it wasn’t so maddeningly serious.